Faith Through Hardship

Recently, I watched a movie called The Grey starred by Liam Neeson as John Ottway. It's a story about 7 oil workers surviving a plane crash in a snowy mountain, but surprise packages already await them. Fiery wolves are haunting and ready to finish them off, while the harsh weather doesn't seem to compromise either.

The omega wolf, the weakest in wolves' social structure

*spoiler alert* (I recommend the movie, just beware of the obscene language)

The fear overwhelms them after the death of the first person. A glimpse of hope is found when they are able to kill the omega wolf, which is considered only to be the lowest in a wolf pack. But the prospect is deemed bogus when one by one starts to fall down without any resistance. My main highlight is when everyone got killed but Ottway. He then shouts to the sky and asks God to try to prove himself by doing something to save his life. He even said that he would believe God for the rest of his life if something did happen. But nothing happens. And the movie ends with the wolves outflanking him while Ottway weaponizes himself by everything he has at that moment.

Though looking from Christian worldview, I'm not trying to say that this movie is bias towards nihilism. The Grey has, in my opinion, portrayed the real hardship that happens in life. Sometimes it can be very ruthless to a point where one thinks he/she would be better off dead than continue living. We may not know how it feels to be one of 500 millions where water / food barely exists for them to survive, so let's consider a more relevant situation. Maybe we didn't do a great job in the workplace, hated by the boss and colleagues, getting fired too often, hopping in and out different companies just to be able to fund our daily living cost. Maybe we live in the world where we have no friends or buddies that we can rely on, no parents or teachers that we can ask advice to; we feel that there's no one that actually cares about us. Just like Ottway when he got surrounded by the wolves, all by himself. 

Faith, can be obtained or strengthened with the aid of miracles. As if I try to imagine where suddenly some helicopters appear above him while SEAL soldiers constantly fire off the machine gun towards the wolves besieging Ottway. Miracles do happen and some people do believe afterwards. The sad truth is that it REALLY doesn't always happen to everyone, no exception for the believers. 

So now what awaits those who are suffering but still don't find a way out ? There's a good news for you. Christians believe that the real war has been won when Christ sacrificed His life in place of us, and rose from the death to confirm the victory against evil and provide salvation for those who believes. Christians also believe that everything that happens in this world is beyond His control and lies within His sovereign will. Looking from this point of view, means that our current life's situation, no matter how bad, is irrelevant towards the 'salvation project' and the final outcome for the believers.This is exactly what Jesus expressed as in John 16:33

"In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

What Jesus would probably say in the midst of our suffering nowadays

Note that Jesus didn't promise that we will live happily in this world (oh yes, some people advertise Christianity with happiness/money/stuff in life they can obtain, but it really doesn't promise so), but instead he promised that we will definitely have problems in life. He knows this fact too much and how weak is human's heart that he reminded us that the set of all problems, and more, the world itself, has been under his control and that you don't need to worry no more.

His disciple, Peter ascertained the fact that suffering is a norm for Christian, as in 1 Peter 4:12,

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you."

I didn't say that the sufferings are fake or just some illusions. It is as evident as you can ever feel if you're having a severe toothache. Extreme discomfort and pain. But sometimes, effort alone might not take us out of our hardship. And in some extreme situation, we can't always get out from the wolves alive (I mean literally), but we can choose to prepare something for the aftermath. That thing is called : FAITH.

My teenager days in Berkeley

So.. This is my 17th day in Berkeley (not including my first night when i directly went to sleep) and there have been lots, lots of things occupying my time so far. A lot of friends asked "How are you in Berkeley ?", so to keep things more efficient, I would like to share a not-so-brief writing of my experience here.

Welcome to UC Berkeley !
"Let there be light !" - Genesis 1:3

I came here with  my parents at August 5th evening, homeless. Then I found a place to live in my 2nd day; 3 single rooms with a bathroom. I ain't staying with Indonesians as I was my whole life (with my exchange program as exception), but the other two are also a new PhD student, one in Mathematics (a Romanian), another in Logic (USA citizen). And although no furniture was provided, my parents were so eager to grab things from IKEA and Voilà ! My empty room magically turned into a wonderful single room.

My first single room ever, more furniture to come

The location is also pretty strategic, about 15 minutes or so from the campus, and public places are within walking distance. Thus I was, and am happily settled at the moment.

Anyway, UC Berkeley is; as some people already mentioned; a very impressive place both for students and even a mere visitor. Compared to the joint structures in NTU, they have different buildings called 'Hall' for the learning activities. As for math students, our activities will mostly revolve around Evans Hall.

Route to School

Everyday, you can see people are sitting on the grass. Chatting, having some coffee, studying, enjoying the sun.. But isn't it an incredible view ? I mean.. I never saw such thing in Singapore. Either they're too busy or maybe because it's too small to have these big fields. Whatever.

The Evans Hall with the grass-eating.. I mean grass-sitting people on the foreground

As usual, there is an orientation session for new international students held by the BIO and there's another for Math Grad students held by the Math Department. I was acquainted with dozens of people from all over the world in my first few days. It's amazing how diverse the students admitted here. There are some fun facts to know. UC Berkeley declared itself as the best public university in USA (which I believed so), and its eternal rival will be Stanford. The rivalry is too 'evil', they even had some pranks about Stanfurd in the orientation book, indoctrinating all these new students with such hatred. And no it's not a typo, I also wonder why they named it that way. Never, I repeat, NEVER come here wearing any Stanford attires or accessories. 

Stanford - Berkeley rivalry

Now, although there are only approximately 7% international students, BUT add all those with American citizenship (including the ABC and such), it could go easily pass the 60% mark of the students population in UC Berkeley ! If you never visit the States and let's say you got sedated then brought up here, you would most probably say that it is an Asian university.

All the time before coming here, my friends encouraged me (like crazy) to cook. Yes, I've tried and did a lot of cooking my friend, probably more than what I did in Singapore (minus the instant noodle of course). And what did you expect ? Failed, simple cuisine right ? Well, fortunately among those, there's something I can cook which actually tasted nice.

Introducing my first Spicy Teriyaki Chicken Rice. Somehow, it's better than I thought, looks decent huh ?

Still trying to make a proper Aglio Olio though.

As for graduate matter, I've talked to my academic advisor about what courses to enroll. My interest clustered around Combinatorics or Number Theory, thus I planned to take both Algebraic Combinatorics and Algebraic Number Theory. But he saw me as a not-very-algebraic person, so he suggested me to take a look at Probability Theory instead. 

These won't let me sleep tight this semester

As with my advisor himself, he is a very attentive and sharp person ! Definitely a good care-taker. I'll be very happy to advise to him often.

In addition to the graduate courses, I will have a 'part time' job as a GSI, Graduate Student Instructor. Basically, GSI will be teaching undergraduate courses in discussion sections, while the lecture will be still taught by a professor. As expected, US universities took teaching in a very serious manner, especially in here, they even had a pre-semester teaching workshop for all the new GSIs. It was fun and so much knowledge, tips & tricks, and excellent advice to be accumulated in 2 days. Not comparable to my teaching experience in Singapore. 

The positive thing about it is that I'll be teaching Calculus 1 - the most basic math class, and that we are given full freedom to do anything we consider useful for learning purposes. Including playing games if necessary. The not very good news is that it will first take away 6 hours of my life every week, plus the office hours where students are expected and WILL DEFINITELY COME (and sometimes they said, might screw you with geeky or childish questions), plus the time I need to prepare for the material.  Also, 3 of which are 8am classes whose place is about 30 minutes walk from home. But in some sense, it can turn out positive that I will be forced to cultivate habit of waking up early and more fat will be burned away.

My current schedule. Consume much more time than it looks like.

My last few days are bad as I needed to take preliminary examination. Too lazy to define it, just click the link to know what it is. But I was super nervous before the test, not expect I'd be able to get more than 60 out of 120. If not for the grace of God, I would be cursed to take the exam. I meant it literally, as I somehow did manage to solve all the problems required, minus a little typo. The results will come out this Friday, hopes up.

It won't get any better, the class start this Thursday and the teaching already begin the next day. In short, my playing time just reduced to ashes, but anyway, it's time to get serious in life.

Psst.. I'll tell u some secret. UC Berkeley people are ADDICTED TO BEARS. All the names are related to that animal. What's the website to add/drop classes ? Tele Bears. What's the website that provide all student's basic information ? Bear Facts. What's the name of the store to buy your textbooks and souvenirs ? Bear's Lair. I need to bear all of these as long as I'm still in Bearkeley.

The honored logo of  UC Berkeley's sport club : Golden Bears

Okay, I should end this now and start preparing. Go Bears !

Mechanics of Problem Solving

Over the years, I've been trying to seek a decent illustration of what exactly happened in solving an olympiad-level-math-problem. It's not as simple as arranging the chess pieces on the chessboard correctly. But on the other hand, it's not as convoluted as finding a needle hidden among stacks of hay. Problem solving is not completely random or only based on creativity, but it also consists of some routine. Today I want to present something that hopefully, would be able to provide you sufficient insight.

Ever heard of this game : Unblock Me ? It's a puzzle game of moving tiles horizontally or vertically. The goal is to be able to move the red tile out to the right of the board.

An instance of Unblock Me's puzzles

Not until I played 1000+ of these, I realized this game's relevance to problem solving.

Imagine the red tile as the given of the problems. You want to move towards your goal (usually prove .... or find ....) on the right side. But instead of regarding the tiles as obstructions, think about it as the path towards your goal.

The path can be in the form of theorems or lemmas*. As you can move the tiles up and down, right or left, you can utilize theorems in different ways. And each choices you make could be the striking difference between getting closer to the finish line or straying beyond the original problem. Unfortunately, in some cases, it is not clear to which direction you are actually going.

The good news is the more practice you do, the more able you will be to grasp the depth of the problem. One method which I applied often from the problem solving method is thinking backwards.

The 'backward thinking' process

In this game, from the simplest thing as noticing that the top part (marked by green) only has 2 spaces, while the bottom part (marked by yellow) has 3 spaces. So that means the blue-edged tile, which covers 3 spaces, must be pushed towards the bottom in order for the red tile to pass through. Furthermore, both horizontal tiles under the blue-edged tile must be pushed to the left to give the needed space. And so on, and so on, as clearly explained by the blue arrows.

It's the same as solving olympiad problems. The more you practice, the more intuitive you are to find the blue-edged tile and the faster you will be to trace the blue arrows. You would be able to reason for every steps you make. Well, that has always been my definition for 'completely solving a problem'.

The light is near

And by the way, I warn you : do not apply this directly to your life's problems. As much as I want to simplify my life, this illustration is just meant for these kind of problem solving. In real life, tiles can crack and sometimes you couldn't even see any way out. But don't worry, keep up your hope and do what you can do. Pray for the rest, and eventually you will see the light =)

*What is a lemma ? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemma_(mathematics)

MY EURO 2012 GROUP B LOGIC

Firstly, I will denote the countries in Group B by it's first letter
D for Denmark
G for Germany
P for Portugal
N for Netherlands

N obviously needs G's cooperation, although G only requires a draw to be in pole position. As the match happens at the same time, G will expect D fighting hard for the win so a draw in the middle would be dangerous, let's say if D scores late goals and P crushes N.

If N wins against P, G is automatically qualified. And there is no logical dependence on how much G wants to take the advantage to be #1 in the group stage (facing the #2 in Group A), as they can just settle for an easy scoreless (or any) draw and it's a mutualism symbiosis for D and G (provided that N has already won by some goals, and they can monitor the results)

However, even if G beats D, N's chances are still slim. The tiebreakers are as follows :
1) Higher number of points obtained in the group matches played among the teams in question
2) Superior goal difference from the group matches played among the teams in question
3) Higher number of goals scored in the group matches played among the teams in question
4) Higher number of goals scored away from home in the group matches played among the teams in question
5) If, after applying criteria 1) to 4) to several teams, two or more teams still have an equal ranking, the criteria 1) to 4) will be reapplied to determine the ranking of these teams. If this procedure does not lead to a decision, criteria 6) and 7) will apply

Consider the case if N,P and D (they lost to G) have the same 3 points.
1) Pass the 1st tiebreaker as N beats P beats D beats N.
2) For the 2nd point, N will have at least -1, both P and D will have at most -1. If N beats P by more than 1 goal, N will qualify. Otherwise, go the 3rd point.
3) Both P and D already scored 3 goals, while N only got 1. As we arrive here, our assumption is N only beats P with exactly 1 goal difference meaning N will still be 1 goal below P's goals and thus not qualified.

To sum it up, N can only qualify if :
1) G wins against D
2) N wins against P by more than 1 goal.

On the other hand, if N-P's match ended in a draw, it will make life difficult for D, as they can't just settle with a draw with G (see 1st tiebreaker).

But it's another interesting tiebreaker scenario if both P wins against N and D wins against G :
1) Pass the 1st tiebreaker as P beats D beats G beats P
2) P and D will have at least +1, while G will have at most +1. If D beats G with more than 1 goal, G is eliminated. If P beats N with more than 1 goal, P is in pole position and out of the tiebreaker.
3) In any case, for the 3rd point, P score 3 goals (3 vs D, 0 vs G), D score 2+x goals (2 vs P, x vs G), and G score 1+y goals (1 vs P, y vs D). As D wins against G, x > y and thus D's goals are superior to G's.

The only way for G not to be eliminated here is if P beats N by exactly 1 goal (so that they stay in the tiebreaker), and G's goals are not less than P's goals, meaning y >= 2 or in other words G must at least score twice, another miniscule chance right here..

And in case the tiebreaker continues as G scored twice vs D, that makes point 4 identical to point 3 as P and G are not the hosts. That makes we go to point 5, a tiebreaker between only P and G, which is clearly won by G (back to point 1).

To sum it up, G will be eliminated only if :
1) P wins against N
2) D wins against G
3a) D wins by more than 1 goal, or
3b) P wins by more than 1 goal, or
3c) G scored at most 1 goal vs D

It's interesting to see that; by means of pure probability (assuming all teams have even chances to win against each other); it's more probable for G to be eliminated than N to be qualified. Haven't taken into account that the 1st condition for N to qualify is the only one based on sportsmanship.

So, it's correct if someone tweeted that "the stars need to align if Netherlands are to sneak through..."

Yeah that's all, I guess. If you're reading up to this point, thanks for your time =p

What makes a bad day ?

On Sunday night, I come home, tired, after the busy Holy week. I had planned to apply for an Italian Visa on Monday morning, so I gathered the documents in my laptop and started to print them. Of course, with the expectation that I still had enough black ink in my printer. Yet it had already ran out of drops. After some alternatives were out of considerations, I replanned my appointment to Tuesday. Then I had several reasons to burst into anger today :

• I went to the computer shop to buy some cartridges for my printer, I even bought 2 of them since I wasn't sure that one is sufficient. But guess what ? The label of the cartridges was 60 (what I needed is 61) and they couldn't be used to print. And I only noticed after I set it up to my printer, just to see the error message. Without saying anything, I quickly went back to the MRT station and to the mall for the first time.
• So this time I bought the 'correct' cartridges (Yes, I saw they are indeed 61). I didn't see much except the number, then quickly paid and headed back home. Then my housemate suddenly hurled a dicussion about me not turning off AC some other day (Yes Sir, I was wrong, but not in the mood to talk about it)
• So I went straight to my room and opened one of the new cartridge. It took me a few seconds just to see that they are COLOR cartridges, not BLACK ones. Yes, I bought 2 of them, again. And then there was a moment of silence before I took action : went back to the shop for the second time.

And finally, the mission was accomplished. At least, I lost about S$100 and 1 hour with this 'little' incident. Normally, my choleric mind should had exploded. But it didn't. And I knew it wasn't my sole power. So I want to thanks God for these things :

• Along the journey, I brought with me a tiny Christian book to read. I read about how to love properly and control your emotion.
• The McD's temptation ! Fast food was one of my 'tools' to extinguish my anger. When I was stressed out, I can go out to find some fast food. But I know due to my commitment, I can't eat fried food. I was very tempted, and I fought against it so hard. Thanks God after 5 times in total passing that spot, I managed to not approach the front door.
• I can keep my calm (not shouting, not throwing / hitting / kicking things, not cursing) throughout everything. I constantly asked God to help me with the  mind-battle and successfully stepped over the pit fall. 

Finally, I came across this Bible verse

James 1:19-20
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

So what makes a bad day ? Let alone a big shocking news, a few of small incidents are more than able. But when we strive to slow down our anger, and when we ask God to enable us in doing so, I believe such days are non-existent in our calendar.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Cis Harry

Intro

A personal blog, finally. The name originated from my middle name 'Christopher' which means Christ-bearer.

Basically the posts will revolve around my common daily life struggles and my thinking about life and spiritual issues. Hope this blog can be a blessing for everyone reading.

Sincerely,

Cis Harry